curmudgeon
2007-05-09 04:34:03 UTC
To quote Bill Maher
And finally, New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every
time they hear the word "France"; like just calling something French is the
ultimate argument winner, as if to say "What can you say about a country
that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and
brilliantly executed war with Iraq?" And yet an American politician could
not survive if he uttered the simple true statement "France has a better
health system that we do- and we should steal it." Because here, simply
dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. John Kerry? Couldn't
vote for him-he looks French. (As opposed to the
other guy, who just looks stupid.) Now last week France had an election,
and people over there approach an election differently-they vote. 85% of
them turned out-you couldn't get 85% of Americans to get off the couch if
there was an election between tits and bigger tits and they were handing out
free samples.
Now maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the
French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in
school, abortion, stem cell research or gay marriage, and if a candidate
knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. The
electorate doesn't vote for the guy that they want to have a croissant with.
Nor do they care about private lives--in the current race, Segolene Royale
has four kids but she never got
married-- and she's a socialist. In America, if a democrat even thinks
you're calling him liberal, he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads
into the woods to kill something. Madame Royale's opponent is married, but
they live apart and lead separate lives and the people are okay with that
for the same reason that they're okay with nude beaches-because they're not
a nation of six year olds who scream and giggle if they see peepee parts.
They have weird ideas about privacy-they think it should be private. In
France even the mistresses have mistresses. To not have a lady on the side
says to the voters "I'm no good at multitasking." Now like any country,
France has its faults-like all that ridiculous accordion music- but their
health care is the best in the industrialized world, as is their poverty
rate, and they're completely independent of Mideast oil, and They're the
Greenest country, and they're not fat. And they have public intellectuals in
France. We have
Dr. Phil. They invented sex during the day, lingerie and the tongue. Can't
we admit we could learn SOMETHING from them? So from now on, all you high
ranking Bush administration officials, because the French are righter than
you on most things, when France comes up in conversation, you are not
allowed to roll your eyes; the only time you get to do that is when your
hooker from Miss Julia is blowing you.
And finally, New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every
time they hear the word "France"; like just calling something French is the
ultimate argument winner, as if to say "What can you say about a country
that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and
brilliantly executed war with Iraq?" And yet an American politician could
not survive if he uttered the simple true statement "France has a better
health system that we do- and we should steal it." Because here, simply
dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. John Kerry? Couldn't
vote for him-he looks French. (As opposed to the
other guy, who just looks stupid.) Now last week France had an election,
and people over there approach an election differently-they vote. 85% of
them turned out-you couldn't get 85% of Americans to get off the couch if
there was an election between tits and bigger tits and they were handing out
free samples.
Now maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the
French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in
school, abortion, stem cell research or gay marriage, and if a candidate
knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. The
electorate doesn't vote for the guy that they want to have a croissant with.
Nor do they care about private lives--in the current race, Segolene Royale
has four kids but she never got
married-- and she's a socialist. In America, if a democrat even thinks
you're calling him liberal, he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads
into the woods to kill something. Madame Royale's opponent is married, but
they live apart and lead separate lives and the people are okay with that
for the same reason that they're okay with nude beaches-because they're not
a nation of six year olds who scream and giggle if they see peepee parts.
They have weird ideas about privacy-they think it should be private. In
France even the mistresses have mistresses. To not have a lady on the side
says to the voters "I'm no good at multitasking." Now like any country,
France has its faults-like all that ridiculous accordion music- but their
health care is the best in the industrialized world, as is their poverty
rate, and they're completely independent of Mideast oil, and They're the
Greenest country, and they're not fat. And they have public intellectuals in
France. We have
Dr. Phil. They invented sex during the day, lingerie and the tongue. Can't
we admit we could learn SOMETHING from them? So from now on, all you high
ranking Bush administration officials, because the French are righter than
you on most things, when France comes up in conversation, you are not
allowed to roll your eyes; the only time you get to do that is when your
hooker from Miss Julia is blowing you.