ThePsyko
2007-12-21 21:45:19 UTC
On 21 Dec 2007 I stormed the castle called alt.2600 and heard
BANNED FROM WALMART...........
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shoppingÂ
boring and
preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her
local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them inÂ
people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's
restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying
and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming
the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna
look" by
using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Walmart
lol.. I might have to try some of those :)This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shoppingÂ
boring and
preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her
local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them inÂ
people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's
restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying
and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming
the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna
look" by
using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Walmart
--
ThePsyko
Public Enemy #7
**Pissing off the planet, one person at a time**
ThePsyko
Public Enemy #7
**Pissing off the planet, one person at a time**